30 Day Challenge

Thirty day challenge - What I THINK I know about you

There are two variation of this challenge. The first is the 30/30 challenge. It is for couples who live together and see each other each night. The second variation is the 15/30 challenge and is intended for couples that are separated for extended periods of time.

30/30 Challenge

For the 30/30 challenge you are asked to take a walk or sit together in an area where you will not be interrupted for a short period of time. The challenge is for 30 minutes a day for 30 days. The only rule is that you are not allowed to talk about anything but each other in order to learn more about your spouse. Each spouse takes turns stating or in most cases guessing what they think they know about their spouse. Early topics include your spouse’s favorite color, ice cream flavor, number, etc. After getting to know more about each other you move into discussing your own thoughts about some general topics. Topics can include, what you love about marriage, what differs from your original expectations, your favorite type of vacation, and so forth. As the days go by the topics should become more personal such as what you really like and appreciate about him/her, things you are thankful for, you get the idea. You can also discuss intimacy, what you like and dislike. Being in a neutral environment without the possibility that discussing sex will immediately lead to sex is a healthy way to bring about open and honest discussion on the topic. Stay away from topics that may cause conflict such as finances, the kids, and the worst topic of all, which way to put the toilette paper on the roll, over or under.

Marriage is a journey not a destination so have fun with this. Talk about everything you can think of. The more you know about your spouse the stronger your relationship will be.

Bonus

The most intimate act that you can do with your spouse is hold hands. Emotionally, holding hands says we belong together, I’m yours, we are one. It always amazes me how many couples never hold hands and then wonder why closeness with their spouse is lacking or non-existent. Hold hands and see how much difference it makes in your marriage.

15/30 Challenge

This challenge is a variation of the 30/30 challenge intended for those that are separated from their spouse for an extended period of time. Since you are not afforded the opportunity to walk or sit together each night you can can accomplish the same thing through email or letters. Each day for 30 days you write down what you think you know about your spouse in a short note that can be read in 15 minutes or less, hence 15/30. Each days correspondence confirms or corrects what your spouse thought they knew about you and lists a new set of ‘favorite things’ your can guess about. As you progress each day you can get more personal same as if you were together. To help each person stay on the same page for the next day, at the end of each day's note list out what you will guess at next. Keep it short each day guessing at five or less things each day. For instance, Days 1-5, Simple Favorites: color, ice cream, number. Days 6-10, Intimate Favorites: pajamas, thing to do on a date, length of a kiss, preferred angle of your head when you kiss (lean to the right or to the left). I think you get the idea.